More Verbal Diarrhea

Damn, looks like I’m going to get my blab on again. It seems the Aimless Stream of Consciousness is at flood stage and is about to overflow its banks, so either get in the rescue boat or start filling sandbags!

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Two Dreams for Ye:

Two nights ago, I dreamt about a vine that we planted near our house. It started growing thick tendrils so fast it threatened to engulf the house and suffocate me, the Mistress, and the Big Monkey. I don’t know where the other honeychile was, maybe at her grandparents.

So, we ran from room to room, cutting ourselves free, and trying to save ourselves, until we threw the BM through an upstairs window and jumped out after her.

I called an exterminator because, really, who else are you going to call when you’re being attacked by a giant vine? They came over in armor and helmets shaped like dog heads. It reminded me of a modern version of an Egyptian God like Anubis or Horus, although I don’t remember which one was the dog. They came and made short work of the vine, and then made fun of me for being such a cry baby.

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Last night I dreamt that a good friend from college was involved in some uber-ultimate-super-poker tournament that had the highest stakes, best players, and was kept on the hush-hush. It was a ten-day long tournament and the payouts, apparently, were huge.

My friend told me to sign up and play in it, because, apparently, you could buy-in right in the middle of the darned thing, even when everyone was in the money. Sure, I said. It seemed logical- I can’t money in a stupid dollah SNG on Stars, I’m sure I qualify for such a prestigious event.

The tournament was held in an otherwise empty office suite. There were about ten players, none I recognized besides my friend, playing on your average folding office tables. There was a huge flatscreen on at the other side of the space. In front of it was a love seat, where I sat. Next to that was Joe Hachem, reclining on a big plastic tub of cash, which I took for his winnings from the tournament.

I sat there for about two hours waiting for someone to bust out so I could play. I was wearing those wraparound granny sun glasses and a combination of sweatshorts and t-shirt that can only be described as “fatty slobwear.” My friend came by and told me to register, stupid, you can play any time. I go to the receptionist and try to sign the list, but she grabs it.

“Have you won the WSOP, a WPT event, or any other major tourney?”

“Um, no. I finished in the money in the Mookie once.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t qualify for this tournament. You can sign up for our Bahamas cruise promotion. If you win that one, you can play in next year’s tournament.”

I passed. On the way out, I visited the restroom and promptly dribbled/splashed pee all over my shins.

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I really tried to watch “Hero” last night. What I really wanted to do was play poker, though. Since I have no control and since baby does what baby wants, I played poker instead. Won 11.5BB’s too.

The Mistress called me at work this morning and asked if I’d watched that damn movie yet.

“No,” I said. I heard a sigh on the other end. Damn it, watching a movie should be about wanting to watch a movie, not about having to. I promised to watch it tonight.

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To continue on the Mistress front, she and the Big Monkey went to Hershey Park yesterday. I was asleep by the time they came home, which was around midnight. My daughter needed new sheets on her bed (can’t make it dry through the night yet) so, instead of doing it herself, the Mistress wakes me up and asks me to get her some clean sheets from the laundry room.

Excuse me? WTF!? Do it your damn self! Heaven would’ve come crashing down and the Hounds of Hell would be unleashed on my sorry ass if I’d have woken her up for anything other than a terrorist attack or a tornado, but you can’t walk down to the basement and get a sheet by yourself?

Of course, I did it.

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I’m not sure why this works, but I got another fish to rebuy last night. I don’t know if people just want to be accepted, but asking them to rebuy, then doing something funny like ‘chanting’ “rebuy!” in the chat seems to work.

I’m one of my upswings again, apparently. These are so much damn fun. If only upswings didn’t turn downward…

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Is there no one who can do anything effectively?

I heard a report on NPR this morning that the National Guard forces sent to the Mexican border to help out the border patrol aren’t authorized to carry weapons. So, border patrol officers have been assigned to provide security for the NG troops.

The result is that the number of officers freed up to catch illegal aliens by the NG is lower than the number of officers who are now TIED UP doing ‘nanny patrol’ (their term) for the NG troops.

WTF?! When stupidity and silly ineffectiveness reaches this proportion, you have to start wondering what the real agenda is here. Clearly, the Bush Administration isn’t THAT interested in stemming illegal aliens and never was. However, they need to LOOK like they are. So we have this idiocy.

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I think I need to do an informative poker post. Something limit hold’em related. Perhaps overcalls, or river play. I need to work on that. Or, I could go in-depth into some pre-flop theory. I need to really learn that stuff, so I can be more flexible when I play.

Or, I could just continue to spew some more inanity. I should poll my six loyal readers. What say you?

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Speaking of loyal readers, a big shout out to my one regular international reader in Zakinthos, Greece. I know no Greek, so I can’t make you feel at home with a taste of your native tongue. Oh well, thanks anyway for reading.