Thursday, November 17, 2005


Heavy into a depressive mood this week. Sat at my desk yesterday without an ounce of energy or desire to do anything. Literally sat there- didn't even surf the net or play solitaire. I could feel myself losing my job but still didn't care enough to try to do anything about it. Luckily, I have appt's today, so I'll have work thrust upon me. I felt sad and near crying all last night. My spouse and I discussed a general foreboding or fear we have concerning our eldest daughter. We're worrying about whether or not she'll be happy and have friends as she grows up. She seems so fragile.

Had a nice little fight with my spouse this morning-great for the kids to see. My temper is so short when I'm depressed. Probably time to see the doctor about my medication.

I've done some writing this week, which makes me feel good, but I'm restless again about the submissions I have out there. I know I'd feel instantly better if I heard something positive.

Done surprisingly well at poker also- I think having some type of general strategy is good against 75% of the schmucks playing out there. Still I played last night and my mood was so bad I gave up half way through a tournament. It seems like a waste of time now. This could be it for that hobby- that's how fast they turn on and off for me. I think I have an emotional attachment to writing however, and I think I'm in it to win it.

Enough rambling.


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