Thursday, October 27, 2005

Out the Other Side of Hell

I'm glad I gave my family that extra kiss.

My outpatient procedure turned into three days in ICU. My blood pressure crashed while I was under sedation, then shot through the roof. I had a heart catheter done- no heart attack.

I woke up in ICU, on a respirator, my spouse and parents at my side. The next day was hell- drugged out of my head, I was sure I was in intensive care because one of my Fantasy Football players was injured and I pestered the nurses to call the Minnesota Vikings to find out if the player, Nate Burleson, was okay. I have a paper where I scribbled "Little Boy, Little Boy" and "Lonely" over and over.

When I finally got the breathing tube removed and was taken off the twilight sedation I cried- I was supposed to be home, not here, with IV's, catheters, and yards of tape all over me. I fell into a normal sleep and dreamed that I met God and I apologized to him. I have no idea for what.

The good news is that the heart catheter shows my heart muscle is strong and there is no obstruction in my arteries. The bad news is 1. the doctors have no idea what happened, or if it will happen again. 2. I haven't passed the kidney stone. 3. My life is changed. I'm not even sure how yet, but it is.

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