Oh S**T!!

My beautiful daughter, who will turn four in December, is working through the final throes of potty-training. She has surrendered her pull-up during the day and has capitulated in the battle over urination. Unfortunately, she is in firm control in the BM arena.

Today, as she's done for the past two weeks, she went down for a nap and promptly pooped in her pull-up. Now, she knows she'll get a talking to if we catch her, so her newest ploy is to change herself and go to sleep. Fine when things are- how should I put it?- well formed. This was not the case today.

She duck-walked over to my room, where I was trying to sneak a nap myself, and explained with a big smile on her face that she had a big poop. This I could see, as it was smeared all over her butt and left foot. I failed to mention that she had taken the time to put a big red ring of lip balm on her face before coming over. I'll skip any more gruesome details and just say that a Haz Mat team probably wouldn't have been out of place in her room.

Strangely enough, she can't grasp my logic: If you're old enough to change your own diaper, you're old enough to use the potty.

WRITING NEWS:

Got a response to my submission "Dead In Baltimore," which I'd sent in to Lenox Ave. last week. I was expecting a rejection, considering the short turn around, but was only half disappointed. Lenox Ave ceased production and released all their stories. So, it's on to the next market.