If this is what the quality of the next hundred posts is going to be like...

So, I find myself down a little over 10BB’s on Party last night.

Down 10 big bets? On Party!?

Yes, you heard that correctly.

Unimaginable! Inconceivable!

I know, right? Well, thank God, the laws of nature reasserted themselves and I find two kings staring at me from the pocket. Blank, jack, jack on the flop. I feel somewhat stupid capping the betting, but the turn, a beautiful red king makes me feel all warm and gooey inside. I give my aggressive, yet oblivious opponents their head and I end up dragging my biggest single online pot to date, a bit over fourteen bucks. I end up with my standard four or five BB winning session.

I had fucked up my shot at an SNG by that time, but I still wanted to play, so I sign up for a freeroll on Stars. Nine thousand players? Crap, this is going to take all night.

Yeah, right. We’d lost around six thousand players before the first break. Which I didn’t exactly make it to. I was card dead and saw only one showdown-the one that knocked me out. The most fun I had was refreshing the “info” page and seeing how many players were busting out every ten seconds or so.

What a frustrating experience. A freeroll maniac kept going all in, but I didn’t have a hand worthy to call. I had two marginal hands that were probably good decisions to fold, but would have earned me a big stack had I played them.

First, I’m looking at K8c. I think about this. This is the second time the yahoo’s gone all in, so I’m not entirely sure he’s maniacal. I fold. The flop comes all clubs. The guy wins with nines.

A few hands later, I’ve got wired fives on the button. Maniac goes all in and is called. Now, I REALLY want to take a chunk of this guy’s stack, but fives are just too vulnerable to me. He could play a lot of crappy hands and still be drawing live. Plus, the other guy’s called him and Lord knows what he’s got. I fold. The flop is 6-5-6. Sigh.

Finally, I’ve got the Tourist (A7)suited on the button. It’s folded to me and I raise it to try to steal. Both blinds call. The flop comes 3-3-7. The small blind goes all in. I’m thinking that it’s not too likely that he would’ve called me pre-flop with a three (Frankly, I didn’t consider he might have pocket sevens until right now.) I’m thinking my sevens up with top kicker is good, and the big stack’s trying to push me around.

But I forgot that this is a freeroll. I call and the guy shows me his Q3.

Offsuit.

Buh-by-ee!

Still, I’ll probably play in some more of these, just because they’re free and my ‘roll’s almost down to nubbins. They satisfy the itch with no risk. I have no doubt I can finish in the top 27 sometime and make it to the 1k guarantee tourney, so that makes it even more +EV for me.

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Here’s a crazy dream I had last night:

I wake up and it’s Sunday. I’m at a casino with some people I went to high school with. I have to leave for home (Mistress keeps me on a short leash, even in dreamland) but I’m urged to play a one table SNG. I do so reluctantly, having to cash in with a credit card, which makes me feel even more guilty.

We sit, and people keep sitting down, even after play starts. I have to keep looking for a chair, I constantly lose my chips, and, when I find them, there’s always a different amount, different denominations. The table’s changed and it is now the size of a small room. The playing surface is actually the floor, and we’re all sitting coliseum-style. To make a bet, you have to walk down to a small ledge, where your stack is, count out your bet and drop it onto the swank hotel carpet that's serving as felt.

People are dropping out as fast as the freeroll I played in, yet I haven’t played or even folded a hand. I keep having to find my seat and my chips, you see. On the way, I have to break up a scuffle between two players. Apparently, the one touched the other on the shoulder without washing his hands first.

I know, weird, right?

So, besides all this, there are two other things that complicate the matter. First, the chips are paper-thin, and sort of frayed around the edges, so they’re almost impossible to count. I don’t know what the denominations are. I ask the dealer, but she doesn’t know either. She said she was just hired today and doesn’t know much about poker. She can, however, zing the cards across the room with incredible accuracy.

Secondly, this is one of those dreams where everyone, even people who like you in real life, are mildly hostile to you. Makes for a fun time.

All I’m dealt is marginal hands like AQo and KJo. Every time I raise, five or six people come over the top.

The dream ends with me deciding whether or not to go all in with KJ. Then it morphs into a scenario where I have to drive someone I work with for a meeting, but I keep going to the guy’s school and forget to actually pick up the guy. It ends with me in the shower with my clothes on, and my dad yelling from outside the bathroom that I forgot to pick up the guy again.

So, that’s the dark carnival that’s inside the mind of CL Russo this week. I think it’s because everyone else gets to go to Vegas except me. Stupid lack of money. Oh well, I hope everyone has a great time and I’m looking forward to reading some funny trip reports.