The Home Game, Poker Rituals, and Your Advice

BB's to go: 53.25 or $2.13


Note: if you're interested in an interesting in-depth treatise on life with psoriasis (and, really, who isn't) check out BG's latest post.

I'm about half-way ready for the inaugural home game this weekend. Cleaning isn't done, although most of the tidying is. With two kids under five, you have to be philosophical about housework. You can be proactive and get things done early, and more than likely end up doing everything over again, or you can wait and get it done right before the guests arrive and hope the Big Monkey doesn't decide to glue her construction paper to the kitchen floor before people start showing up.

Otherwise, most of the other stuff is done. Got chips. Enough for the tourney, assuming no one shows up unexpectedly. The cash game will have to wait until we color up and free up the lower denomination chips. Got the Copags and the canceled casino decks. I've got the blind structure, house rules and general rules for Hold em and some other games all written up. I'll print them out at work tomorrow. Still have to buy snacks and soda.

Got one table top and another player is bringing one as well. Hopefully that will be enough. Realized yesterday that we didn't have enough chairs, so I've got some people bringing some.

I hope everyone shows, and is on time. Someone said they're going to be late, and I'm resigned to the fact that I'm going to have them pay blinds even when they're absent. I don't know of any other way to be fair. Dear reader, let me know if this is too harsh for a home game. Personally, I wouldn't mind if we just let him buy in late, but I'm not sure everyone else would agree.

I hope everyone gets along, and has fun. I really, really don't want any serious disputes over pots or rules. That's why I wrote some home rules. Here they are:

HOUSE TOURNAMENT RULES:

1. In the case of a split pot, any ‘extra’ chips go to the involved player closest to the dealer’s left.
2. The dealer will be decided by dealing cards face up to each player. The first person who is dealt an ace is the dealer.
3. A new dealer will be dealt whenever two or more players join a table.
4. Anyone absent from the table by the time the action gets to them will have their hand automatically folded.
5. Blinds will be posted for absent players.
6. No advice from people not playing in the tournament is permitted!
7. In the event that the first hole card dealt is revealed to all players, the dealer must reshuffle and deal again.
8. If any other hole card is revealed during the initial deal that card is taken by the dealer and replaced with an unseen card. The revealed card then becomes the burn card for the flop.
9. If a community card is dealt before betting is complete, it is removed from play.
10.If the flop is misdealt, the deck must be reshuffled and the flop redealt.

I don't think they're too rough. There's a husband and wife playing, and I don't want him sweating her cards. That happens at some of the places I play live, and it just pisses me off. It really shouldn't matter at this game, since I'm looking to have fun more than win big bucks, but I know it will upset me.

I hope, if I'm still in the tournament, the other guys can set up a cash game without my help. I really can't decide what chip denominations to give people. It's going to be low stakes, probably nickel and dime blinds. I'm thinking of giving five, ten, and twenty-five cent chips. That should be plenty, as I don't think people will be buying in for more than five or ten bucks.

I really shouldn't worry- everyone there are adults, they want to play, they'll work it out. Like anyone else, I just want it to be a success. If it goes off well, it has a better chance of being a regular thing. If not, some people probably won't come back. I've invested a lot of time and money in this for it to be a one and done.

How do I expect to do? I'll probably crap out in the tournament. There's enough experienced people playing that my suckitude at NL will be exposed. In the cash game, I've got a better chance, especially if I can get a limit game going. In fact, if we play LHE, I'm probably going to pillage the table.

Also, I fully intend to laugh at and ridicule anyone who does the following:
1. Use a card protector
2. Wears shades
3. Brings an IPOD. In fact, I'm tossing anyone with one out of my house. Not that anyone I run with can afford one.

Got a problem though. Since I play 95% online, I'm going to be out of my element. Most of my rituals aren't really going to transfer too well to a live game. I'm used to playing in my underwear (more than likely scratching the twig and berries.) Wouldn't really go over well on Saturday.

Secondly, one of the first things I do before I play is apply lip balm. Carmex is my brand of choice. I'm addicted to it. By the way, I have preternaturally soft lips.

Jesus, I'm just realizing how GEIGH the last few paragraphs are.

I could use the little jar as a card protector, but then I will have to laugh at myself, and worry about getting my beautiful, new, plastic cards all greasy. Also, by friends from college will skewer me and be overwhelmingly convinced that I am a fagula.

Of course, who's going to notice a little lip balm when it's being used by a big fatty stripped down to his tighty whiteys?